Normal? please define.....?

ok, first things first....one i have been slacking off on this stuff; why? I shall tell you.

with the new hardware on my head i have been able to do thing i wasn't able to do in the past. For instance i am going back to school starting Oct. 13th. All of my courses will be online and i will finishe with in a 2 year period my AA degree in Crimina Justice. After that i will be Applying for a job with the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Department. thats right, me MR. Deaf boy will be a Cop....



Speaking of Mr. Deaf Boy......that name no longer applies. Why do you ask? Again i will tell you. I went today for my monthly MAPping and after a few minor adjustments the levels were good for me. At this point my wonderfull (and truly mean that) Audi put me in the booth. I sat int he sound booth for the first time since my surgery and raised my hand to the static noise i was having played for me. After i stepped out and looked at my test results and about fell over. My hearing which had been at a profound to deaf hearing loss for the last 15 - 16 years, and now with the CI activated and Tuned has testede to be normal to moderate hearing loss. The moderate on the high frequency sounds. so you can say I HAVE NORMAL HEARING AGAIN.

now to go on to be a cop and give back to my community the way i always wanted to.

ok a gonna quit now before i start writing odd things that make no sense at all. but to end it i will say:

I LOVE MY CI!

electrifyingly odd day

well, yesterday i went for a new mapping after one month of the same maps. It was good we upped the volume and even balanced it out some and that ended up making people less roboticy. How ever it became increasingly odd, as everything was fine and then that night at dinner there was a really bad lightning storm, so bad i lost my computer and it directly hit my house causing a surge so strong it blew one outlet, popped a breaker and fried my computer, and cable boxes. (inside and outside) so i lost a fridge, one comp and two cable boxes woo hoo! well i got up this morning and realized i am now on program 3 and should not be there yet after one day, and the down button on my primary controller is not working, i am wondering if i caught some static electricity in the storm. It struck close enough to the restaurant that the windows almost blew out. yes it was that bad, i am gonna make another appointment on Monday and see if i can't get this fixed and mapped back on right!

sizzzilin hot hearing!

like the title huh? he he, well anyway this will be a short entry as i am only noting that i have been hearing even better with the CI as i was on the phone today with my HA and actually heard and understood what came over the loud speaker at work through my CI. BUT thats not the coolest part, I was grilling some steaks tonight and amist all the wind from our lovely storm FAY, i heard through the wind the sizzle of the steak hit the hot grill grate.

so you understand what i mean, i have heard the sizzle of food before but, if you have ever blown into a mic while it was on and functioning on a amplification system. yeah, that "Darth Vader" breathing noise. Thats what i hear on really windy days when i am outside. But today i heard the steaks sizzle over all that. it was cool.

OMG THIS IS SO FRICKIN COOL

I am now progressing into the audio understanding period of my CI journey. =Basically, i am beginning to understand words and even though they are a bit robotic i can still understand most of them. Most sounds are still on the dingy level, depending on their pitch. The "S" sound still sound very much like a high pitched whistle.

OK as for the title, i decided today to try and hook up my CI directly to my Ipod, and OMG i can hear the music, its not perfectly clear but i can hear enough to make out the words and most of the music sound the same as before. he he i feel like a little kid i can hear!!!!!!! Now i just have to learn how to understand people with all of the worlds background noise, maybe it is time for some different style maps? these progressive ones are good but i need more! I guess i will have to wait until my next appointment on The 28th of this month.


wow, thank you GOD for this oppurtunity! ITS SO FRICKIN COOL!

Bullets, coffe cans, and Fans

well, i got home from work today....yes i went to work for the first time in 6 weeks. It was kinda odd, most people left me alone to do my job, but most asked me how i felt and questioned about the surgery itself. This was no problem, i had no issue explaining things over and over again, however, it kinda kept me from receiving the 1000 guns we got in. Boy did i walk into a Heap of a mess. I kinda think my boss wanted to make sure i had work to due and ordered a 1000 guns. Boy will i be busy. I got to listen to gun shots with the CI only and it sound like a "bading" yes that is spelled right. Although i didn't know they got the deflector plate back up, i never heard this before, when i was warned about the sound i noticed it right away.
The sound of a bullet hitting the plate sounded like a coffee can getting hit by a golf club. On another note, i was kind fearful that the CI would be a constant dinging drone, with the fans in the back but was able to lower the sensitivity to block them out, in fact one of the new fans drove me nuts....as i first walked in i was checking an invoice and noticed this sound almost like a nest of distressed frogs, and it was actually the fan. odd. well other than that my first day back at work was definitely a busy one. now to rest so i can go play with more guns tomorrow.

new news and no new shoes

first of all i just want to let everyone know i am sorry for not blogging more frequently as i have been busy with life. Second the title has really nothing to due with this post, i just had it pop out of my head so stop wondering.

Now i had my third progressive mapping on Thursday, my Audi went ahead and adjusted everything accordingly with a lower volume and more beeps. Well i am actually hearing less dings and more robot noises....yes this is good, i am able to recognize my own voice much easier but others are still taking time. speaking of time, wow can time fly when Ur out of work. I have been out for six weeks and finally was released to go back by my doctor tomorrow. So tomorrow i will enter work and feel like the new kids again. I actually am happy to be back at work, It will really test my CI to what my needs of it are. I also can't wait to hear what gun shots sound like, i am thinking for now ding ding ding. But hey it will be an awesome experience. Well, i guess now i should be off to bed and get my rest for the next day. so until i can tell you all how tomorrow went....sleep tight and remember wives bite not bed bugs!

2ND Mapping

well, i had my second doctors appointment since being turned on today. Everything went well, My Audi turned my volume up some, and made sure all the electrodes were at the same volume level, I spoke with her on how everyone is starting to sound like robots, and she suggested doing some word recognition exercises. As an example she did the days of the week with me, all though i understood her better than i would have the last week I was only able to get Saturday correct. After thinking about it and having each ding (now a more robotic ding) sound off for each syllable, I was only able to get Saturday cause it is the only one with 3 syllables. other than that its still the same as yesterday,

The bell's Palsy is subsiding, and i am no long droopy, but i can't close my eye enough to work yet. God i can't wait until i can, i actually miss work. well other that that life is just still one bug paralytic ding.

robots on the loose

this title means exactly what it says. In my little world of electronic sound the dings have some what subsided. OK here is what i mean: People sound more like robots, programed with a bad voice box. but things like the keys on my keyboard still make the ding sound. so yeah.....

I noticed it when putting my 3 yr old to bed, that his love you daddy sounded a little funny on the CI side. I took my HA out and had him repeat it, and noticed he sounded like he had a voice box, that was not "speaking" clearly. I am not hearing words, just the syllables sound more distinct than a simple ding.

even a silent prayer is belly

well today i went to church to become the official godfather of my little nephew. Basically, it was my family versus the Brennick family. They all talked and they all wanted to know what the bells sounded like. It was interesting explaining it thought most everyone got it and understood. although i just got ding ding ding in response, that made it even funnier. well most people talking to me including a friend who has seen me go deaf practically, said i seemed to be doing better. I don't think it is the CI allowing me to hear since it is all ding ding ding, but i think the CI forces me to focus more on the HA side when it is in, therefore helping me understand more. If this is the case this is a bad thing, and i need to stop wearing the HA. Does anyone know where i can find a ding to English dictionary? well that's it for today, we shall what kinda dings tomorrow brings.

imagine if i wrote this in dings.....every syllable would be a ding. just think about.

bits of ding dongs

well it has been 3 days since i was turned on and i am still hearing bells. The good news is i am beginning to notice little differences in each ding with different sounds. I attempted to use a listening web sight, to help with word recognition, and was able to hear the difference in the ding for like words. No i didn't hear the words but i could tell the difference between ferry and very by the tone of the ding. I guess this can be considered an improvement but its still not words, it ding and out world does not speak ding. However, i may be able to communicate with and under water sonar?

24 hours later

well it has been 24 hours since i was activated yesterday, and i still hear bells.

saw the doc again today and he said it was normal, which i already knew. He also told me i can go back to work ....wait don't get too excited just yet,....when my eye is completely better. (doh!) It sucks i can't work and i can't do anything, i wanna do something.

I noticed with the CI when i take it out there is a lingering after affect on my left side, almost like that of the static they put in ur ear during a hearing test. it goes away afeter a few minutes, but is kinda annoying. I also noticed that when i out the Ci on in the morning or after extemded periods of not wearing it i get a constant ring, for about 5 min; then i get the ding ding ding ding per word. the longer i wear it the more distinct the dings seem to become, which means my brain is starting to distinguish the different dings. now if people only spoke ding. Neways i will be able to hear soon.

I had to stop by my work and explain to them what i sgoing on and give them the doc note, and pay them for my insurance. They are ready for me to come back but don't want me there till my doc releases me.

Thats about it for todays events, and changes on the Electronic hearing level.

Ding- DONG

well, i guess it is time now for me to blog everyday as i said i would once i got turned on. Yep, thats right i got turned on today. For those of you who may be think funny about that comment, it means my Audi gave me my processor and allowed me to connect it to the magnet in my head. First, i tell you about my day, then well keep reading you will see.

At about 6am my wife and i arrose out of our beds and began to do our daily morning stuff. Well, it was a bit different as today i had no kids they went to my mother in laws. After we got ready and 7am rolled aorund we left to go pick up my mother, whom i wanted to be there when i got turned on. We pulled up to her house and got her and proceeded to travel the distance between her house and my doctors. Once we go there, i signed in and waited, and waited, and waited for what seemed like forever. Once forever was over my audi finally came and got us and we followed her through the office to the little room where they hooked me up to the computer. Once we got chairs and stuff in the room for everyone my mom and wife sat down anxiously waiting to see me hear. (Ithink they had some sort of chore list they wanted me to do),

First the Audi put everything on and ran a couple test, then she ran a mapping to set my hearing at the right level. Once this was done she programmed the processor and turned it on. At this moment i heard what sounded like Cathedral bells ringing. At almost the same time my audi asked me can you hear me?, Nope. The my wife, Nope. Then my mom, Nope. Then they asked what do you hear. I told them i hear what sounds like bells clanging to the sound of each syllable of each word, and to each sound. I was told this was normal and to depend on my right ear now only. Well, there is only one problem, my right ear is kinda ringing really loud form the bells, so i am forced to use my HA in my left ear until my brain destinguishes the sounds. Funny thought that is, my brain actually having to work normal.....ok thats it i am screwed...lol. Once done with that, the audi went over all my goodies i got with the cochlear, i was like what no T-shirt? Well, no i didn't get one, but i did get a big box. After that i went to breakfast with my mom and wife, then home to listen to my bells ring all day.


Ok, now that you have gotten an idea of what happened today i will move on to another subject or two.

one- you can comment on my blog, do not be afraid to, if you do not have a blogspot account then comment as annonymous. Also, Feed back would be nice, and it helps me know who has the addy and who doesn't.


TWO- It has come to my attention that some people do not fully understand what i have, and i will now try to explain this. I have a device implanted in my head, that stimulates the nerves in my ears; allowing my ear to turn it into sound. For those of you who may like some pics better but don't' want to see the gooey gross stuff, i have posted some below. so enjoy.



This is what my processor looks like, the round thing has my magnet in it.



And this is what happens to be in side my head.

PICS

OK people, here are the pics i promised, some of you are probably scrolling to find them, but because they are much more graphic than the others posted i have enclosed a link to them, Please, view them at your own discretion as they are of the surgery in progress, so they are bloody and gory. if you can't get to them let me know here or in an email

awandersonII@hotmail.com

and i will send them or the link to u directly.

here ya go


http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=182830080&albumId=1534774

Doc visit, follow up #1 and CI Testing

Well, at about 3pm i signed into my docs office, for my 2 weeks follow up and for the testing of my implant. After about 15min the Audi assistant came and got me for the testing. I was instructed to remove my HA and then had the Processor (the external part of the CI) placed over my ear and the magnet took right away. I didn't feel the magnet at all, which was reassuring since i was afraid of it being immensely uncomfortable. The initial test took about 2 min and showed all the electrodes were working properly, the second test was a series of beeps, which to my sounded like a telephone was ringing, (one of those old ones that sound like a bell going off) they tested this i think 22 time, once per electrode. This was so they know where to start the level of sound on my processor when they turn it on on the 17Th of July. The sounds felt like they where coming from with in (which they where) but it was kinda weird, i mean sound normally would go into the ear and then you hear it; but this was more like i heard it and it traveled out of my ear. I was given a card to carry showing that i may set off airport security systems and as a warning for medical procedures in the event i can't respond to questions. i was also given the instructions video for the processor and Implant, which i will view later. After this I went back to the waiting area, where i waited for the doc. After a few more minutes, I was taken back so they could get my vitals and then given a room to wait in. while they where taking my vital i was given a copy of the pics they took during my surgery. I will try to post these later, since i have to scan them first. After a while the doc came in and we talked about what i can and can not due. Basically its all the same, no bending and no stooping, I can't lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk. No mowing the lawn or going to work as there are to many particles in the air that can damage my eye. You want to talk about depressing news.....Most people would welcome the time off work and enjoy it. I, However, am depressed my it, i have been home for two weeks now with nothing to do, i have two more weeks of nothing to do ahead of me now. and I am making no money what so ever. It has gotten to a point where if i hadn't had the testing part done today, i would probably regret even having this surgery; But hearing the beeps during the test reminded me of what the outcome is and how the benefit out weights the negative. Well that's really about it, so i guess i will leave you all to ponder the safety advice given in the movie "Volcano"

In the event of an Earth Quake, "stand in the door jam, put your head between your legs and kiss your A** goodbye."

Pics of the surgery will be up later, maybe not today but later sometime.

Bell's Palsy

well, it has a name, Bell's Palsy is what i suffer from since my surgery, all the previous information i gave is still correct, but it now has a name. For those of you too lazy to research what you don't know i will enclose some pics of me and my condition. It is temparary, so i am not at all freaked by it. I am going to tell you i never want to experiance it again. I am going to have a long talk with my surgeon about this, if my risk of haveing it again is pretty good, then i will most likely not have my second CI done. I will stay with the one and use a HA until it no longer works. Well on to the pics Hope you enjoy them.

In The first pic is of me trying to smile, as you can see only half of my face works for this, my five year old thinks its hillarious; Which is good cause i don't want them to be scared of me cause of it. The second pic is of me trying to open my mouth all the way, my jaw is fully xtended on both sides but the lips are not moving with it. This makes it really hard to eat. The third pic is of me trying to close both eyes really tight, obviously i failed at it, i can close my eye just i have to do it lightly like when trying to sleep. and the final pic is of me letting you see my scar again, after 2 weeks it looks a little better, huh. well thats it for now, and just remember the next time you want to make fun of some one for looking funny due to a disease, it could be you that looks that way.

Problem Update

OK, got back from the doctors office. I have right side facial weakness, also a type of paralysis. My entire right face is numba nd paralized. I can barely smile, i am unable to flare my nostrol and i can only close my eye enough to actually sleep. Apparently it is some type of virus that was irrtated when i had surgery. The way it was explained was, its kinda like a chicken pox virus, one of those things that once you have it it never goes away. You imune system keeps it in check all the time, but when you have surgery, or some type of injury to the area of nerves where it lies dormate, then it can be reactivated so to speak. I have some virus in my facial nerves apparently that got pissed off when i got my CI. Now my face is paralized. Thankfully this is only temparary. My doc was kind enough to meet me at his office, when they are normally closed and he could have taken the easy way and said go to the ER, i will consult with them, but he didn't. I thought that was pretty cool. well other than less feeling in my face, which......oh you guys probably want to know how long huh? well he said anywhere from a couple days to a month or so. Well thats it for now, so i say in the most parlytical way so long.

Problem

well today started out with some events, I was having problems with my right side of face being limited with movement due to swelling. This morning my wife called the doc and he told me to meet him at his office, so i will be leaving to do that. He think it has to due with the swelling pinching a nerve or two and causeing my face to "fall asleep". I can still move my jaw, but the cheeks and lips and eye lids can't move much. my eye lid moves just enough to close lightly. My face is not numb so to speak, i can still feel everything all over my face. So the doc will decide if i have to be admitted or if i have to just go on steroids for this. Well its time to go face the doc! peace, and no i am not having a stoke people.!

new days ahead

well, to day was a bit of a diffreent day, went out with wife, kids were actually good and enjoyable, not over active and annoying. but as far as recovery goes i am feeling better and today was deffinetly an improvment, less pain and it lasted less time wise than the previous days. so that is good. well other than that thats about it for the day. so for now peace out!

doc visit

Well, i went into my docs today just to get my HA fixed, and ended up seeing my surgeon as well. I was almost out of the narcotics he gave me and wanted to see if i could get more. He looked over everything and said everything was in good shape, no blood pooled anywhere, no uneccessary swelling. everything was normal. He asked if i had been walking, and i said no not much trying to take it easy. he yelled at me and said he wants me to walk alot, i don't think it is cause of my sergery but more cause of my weight. but oh well, i need to do it any way. I got put on a different pain med regimen and started that today, he believes he can get me better quicker on it than on vicodin. well, other than that, my audi is chekcing on my cochlear equipment and i have to wait one more week before i see the doc again, and can get clearance to work. I hope i can it is driving me nuts having nothing to do. Well i guess its time for me to sign off and get some rest again. so until next time remember: being out of work makes you yearn for it, but once you get back you wish you didn't.

48 hours out

well after 48 hours of surgery being over, i have come to realize, not much has happened but the passing of 48 hours. My head is still swollen, and i am still unable to lift anything, but on the bright side i have gotten better at Guitar Hero 3. I neglected to travel anywhere today as yesterday really drained me, tomorrow i think i may try to go to the park with my wife and kids, see how works out. dunno know really gonna have to play it by ear. It stormed pretty good today which helped relax me and allow me to get some sleep. Well, i can only sit, lay and some time rollover, i kinda feel like a dog. lol. I wonder how long the swelling last for, cause it is getting on my nerves. i know its only been 2 days but how would you feel if your head was half swollen for two days? well i should go lay down know, maybe i will get a bacon flavored snack if i do?

The unvieling

The first pic is after the cup thingy was removed, the second is of the scar behind my ear.

OK, well today entitled a little traveling even though i am sure my doc would probably yell at me for it, but i was going insane. Their is so much to do at my house and i can't lift anything for now. so i had my wife drive me to work so i could give them an update, they practically threatened to fire me for coming up there when i should have been resting. well the next stop was to game stop, where i picked mme up some guitar hero III. been playing that and relaxing today. Then it came time to remove the bandage and let it get some air. it came off with no problem what so ever. and i continued with my game while my wife made dinner. My mom sat with me while my wife went to the store, as removing the tight bandage left me a bit light headed and dizzy. Well, i have put the bandage back on and am about to sleep. but before i let you go remember: just cause you place plastic bags over cast to keep them dry during showers doesn't mean this idea works on heads.

The Surgery in detail

The day began at about 10:30, upon arrival, i checked in with registration and was given paper work to take with me to pre op. As i arrived into pre op there were a few others waiting as well. I handed my paper work to the nurse at the desk and sat down with my wife. She read her book, and i listened to my ipod. we waited for what seemed like forever, but was only about 30-40 minutes. Once called back i given a room, where i was told to strip (for free of course). as i put on the butt gown i laid down and listened to my ipod some more. I think it drove my wife nuts that i wasn't giving her much attention, but i was about to undergo surgery on my head. Soon the nurse came in and took my BP and HR and then told me i had to get the menegitis vaccine. That was no problem, just a quick pinch in the arm. Here they put on my allergy braclet but spelled on of them wrong. Which was ok since it was a prescribed antibiotic they don't use anymore. At this point i waited, and waited, and waited. My doctor reserved the OR for 12:30 until 2pm. but i guess someone elses surgery took longer than expected or som one was late. cause i was taken to OR prep at about 1:45. From there things went much quicker. The anesethiologist came in and began giving me an IV, as the nurse took my BP again. after he was done the nurse said my BP was way to high along with my heart rate, she wanted to do it again. I told her its cause she did it while i was being stabbed with a friggin needle. of course everything went up. When she took it again it was fine. duh! Next i met the nurse who was gonna be in the OR with me (oddly enought my wife pointed out she was her friends ex wife, small world huh?) They took me into the OR and i attempted to look around and they all thought something was wrong, i had to explain how i have a pshycological need to be aware of as much of my surrounding as i can. its called situational awareness. at this point the trnsfered me to the very uncomfy and very cold cutting table. then gave me a blankt. At this point they strapped me down and told me it was so i don't role off. I was like I ain't moving and i don't plan to wake up either. Doc bartels came in and said HI, i reminded him i wanted a copy of the video he said they were gonna do. He then went to scrub and the anesethiologist took over, he hooked a few things into my then waved Bye bye, i proceed to say "Beam me up scotty!" (don't ask why i just did).

After surgery was over i began to awaken in the recovery room, apparently still intubated, that freaked me out. i remember grunting and kicking for this thing to be removed from my mouth NOW! It was. Upon that i was in and out of it, my wife was there with the nurse. After wards, my told me i was very chatty and shouted out "when can i have sex again!" I don't doubt it cause i know anesethsia makes me very blunt, and uncooth. Apperantly i threw up while in recovering and some of it went into my lungs causing scare, that i may get pnuemonia. They suctioned just about everything out, and sent my to short stay. There they me i was admitted for over night, Idon't think so, get me the doc that ordered that. and they sent for him. I got up almost imeadiatly and walked to the bathroom, but not before telling the male nurse to leave and close the door as the world did not need to see my privates when i uncovered. I did this and they brought me some water and some toiletry products in case. I waited for the doc to come, at about 7pm he arrived and checked me out again and cleared me to go home, after i explained that its normal for me to hack up green stuff from my lungs. With no sounds in my lungs a i breathed got dressed and waited for the, very kind and pretty nurse to discharge me and get me a wheel chair. As she went over the instructions i kindly told her i knew em all, and would not get my head wet for 2 days and then for 2 weeks i had to use cotton balls with vasaline. I told her i would treat it like my cast, just put a plastic bag over my head, as she started to say thats a ggood idea she realized, what i said and corrected herself saying wait thats not a good idea. I laughed. at this point my wife wheeled me out of the hospital and security gave me a ride to our car in the golf cart. On my way out of the hospital another patient and their gardian looked kinda funny at me so proceed to tell them i had a brain transplant and it didn't take. On my way home we stopped for dinner at olive garden and then at walgreens for my prescriptions. then it was home and at home, i basically went to bed.

well thats the detailed account of yesterday. so for now i will sign off until i add more of todays events tonight.

and for a final thought, People should know weird things happen all the time, i just happen to be weird all the time.

It's over

well i had the surgery. I went in at 10:30 and waited until about 2p to get on the or table. everything went well, except after i threw up and apparently some of it got into my lungs, so they had to watch me for some time. They tried admitting me over night but i was like hell you are. After some time the doc came in and cleared me to go home. i was pretty much ready to go all dressed and all. During the discharge instructions they told me not to get it wet, i said ok, i will just put a plastic bag over my head when i shower....the nurse said good idea....wait don't do that! lol it was funny. I am home now and in pain, but taking meds for it. it shold be ok after a while. now i need to get some sleep. i will try to give a more detailed account of the events tomorrow. along with another update.

/when they said i couldn't get my head wet for two days, does that mean i can't have sex?/

Pre OP

well, to day began kinda weird, went to bartels office for my physical check up, they remodeled their ofice so it was kinda crazy. I was used to the same set up for 17 years then all of a sudden its different. Its nice but different. got all my stats taken, and was of to see the doc. He came in looked at my MRI, and said all looks good, except my left ear (to be implanted later) looks like it will be harder to implant than my right. I didn't pay too much attention to it since my right is being done not my left. Well after all was said and done there, The doc told me they will be filming my surgery, for education and teaching purposes. I told him i am ok with that as long as i get a copy of it. Imagine a copy of my CI. how cool! well i then traveld over to pre op and registered, and got all the good info i needed, no food after midnight, blah blah blah! well the cool thing is my surgery is at 12:30pm, and i have to be there by 10:30am. and tomorrow i turn BIONIC. Hehe. I told my kids i was going to the hospital to have them cut my ear open and put a robot in there so i can hear. My youngest said "me too?". i had to laugh. well 11 hours to go and then 28 days before activation. i think i am gonna need some anxiety meds or something cause i don't want to wait 28days! but i gotta, well i need some sleep now or i may be tempted to drink.

remember: jst because a child is an innocent creature, doesn't mean they are innocent!

day 1 of pre op

ok well today went interestingly well. I had to have an MRI on both ears so Dr. Bartels could verify the nerves still worked or what not. Upon getting there i had to wait 2 hours just to get back into the second waiting room. From there things went much faster, kinda.....after removing all metallic objects and my hearing aid i proceeded into the room with MRI machine. They asked if i was claustraphobic and i told them no, i will be fine. Upon putting the helmet type mask on my head i began having shortness of breath, then they crammed my over sized body into this little hole made for five year olds. I wanted out. I told them they best get me to sleep or some kind of open MRI machine. Well they decided on Valium, after the first 30mg of it, they attempted to shove me into the hole again, only thins time the valium hadn't calmed enough. My nerves were even more shot. So another 15mg of valium went in me. Now this HELPED, lol, i was not only sleepy but relaxed more than ever, i closed my eyes as i layed down and tried to sleep. well sleeping wasn't happening but i was relaxed enough they where finally able to get the pics of my head they needed. As i dizzily made my way to the waiting room, i was forced to pace back and forth, to prevent myself from sleeping, while i waited for the CD of my head. Then i went home. That was the longest four hour imaging appointment i have ever had. And tomorrow I go to the doc for more pre op stuff, yeah! well atleast this time they won't be shoving me into a little hole.

Well until tomorrow remember:
Just cause when you where 8 and weighed 100lbs you survived an MRI with no problem, doesn't mean you can do it again in the same size hole at 25 and 300 lbs.

The Beach

OK, Well this has nothing to do with my cochlear, so o speak, but i feel like bloggin so....you should feel like reading! Neways I have one week before my surgery. I am getting aprehensive, I can't wait but on the other had i am currently on vacation enjoying the beach with my kids; So i will wait. I get home from this littel vacation in Madeira Beach on monday, Tuesday i go back to work for one day, but i have to make sure the guy replacing me knows what to do. On wed i have the pre op stuff, i hope that don't take long cause i wtill have to finish building a shower before the 19th. After the 19th i can't lift anything for 2 weeks, then for 2 more weeks it's nothing over 10lbs, then for 2 more weeks it's nothing over 30lbs. then i can finish the shower. so six weeks of wieght restrictions. But until i get back on monday will be trying to enjoy my weekend at the beach. (I hate the beach)! But oh well, my kids enjoy it and i enjoy seeing them have fun. We are staying (thanks to my in laws) at the Sandy Beach Resort across from St. John's pass. It is a nice little resort, but you can smell the canadian left overs from the winter some times. In fact i even ran into one today, and no they didn't have any bacon on them. (I asked). It is interesting being here, i honestly may miss it. but next year i will be able to talk to my cousins, and family better. Now its kinda hard since my HA doesn't help with the loud eccesive noise from kids, or the wind. but the CI is supposed to help. well it is time now to take the kids down for their even swim, if the storms don't get here first. until i meet with you all again remember:

The chance of running into some one you know greatly increases when you are with some one you don't want to be seen with......

The Meeting

well, i finally met face to face with the man who has been trying to get me to accept a CI for almost ten years now. The doc came in and all he had to say was "so your finally ready?". well yes i am. for the longest time it seems i had decided to do both ears the same time, but after talking with people and with my audi, it was suggested to do my worst ear first and then my good ear later. The doc had the same opinion but was a bit more honest as to why: and i quote "the payout is less if i do them together".....I thought this was funny but atleast he was honest. Although my appoint ment was 3hrs long, i don't have much else to report. Now i just need to go get an MRI and my menegitis shot, after that its is just the waiting game until the day of surgery.

Oh and so ya'll know the surgery is only 3 hours long and is an outpatient thing. I will be home the same day unless it is determined between now and then that i suffer from sleep apnea. i don't so until next time: remember not everything that goes up comes down....weight for instance.

The Evaluation

OK, well i had one really early start today, with my 730am doc apt. I was up at 530 just to get ready and leave. The whole time i was trying to wake up i was actually feeling a bit apprehensive since i new they were going to have to test my right ear for the first time in 15 years. I know i may have mentioned 12 years before but i found out today it is actually 15years. Well when i got there i was the first patient of the day and i was the only one at that point. My Audi came out and invited me back to the testing room. Basically a big room with a large safe like box in the middle. As we sat down she began to explain the procedures for the day and asked if i had any questions. having been through many hearing test i did not.

Once inside the box i had my right ear tested ( my left had been done 3 weeks ago and did not need it) . At first i ha no idea what i was listening for, since i have not heard in this ear for years. The first few sounds were the high pitch sounds, i never actually heard these but had to raise my hand just to stop the vibrations that bothered me. When she got to the low pitch sounds i was able to hear them but the had to be so loud the program almost couldn't do it. or so it seemed. Once that fiasco was done, my Audi programed 2 Oticon aids for my left and right ear levels. When put in i heard pretty good out of the left side, the right seemed to be only pressure and vibrations, no understandable sound. thus began the word comprehension testing. Beginning with my right ear i heard nothing at all the whole time. then moving on to both ears i heard some things after we discovered it wasn't set up right for me to hear inside the booth. after testing both ears we went back to the right ear. I heard sound but absolutely no words.

Then we tested the left ear, oh boy i heard words and i know from my Audi's reaction and from my own second guessing i didn't hear right. Heck i didn't say a few words i thought i heard cause i knew there was no way they would put those in a hearing test. When the test was over, she told me i heard 41.5% of the words given. however it seemed to high, so we added background sound. Oh yeah that made it fun, i never got the exact percentage i heard correctly but i do know it was probably a hell of a lot lower. Especially since when i asked my Audi seemed to get this look on her face like she felt she would depress me if she told. oh didn't really care i actually found it quite amusing how miserable i did. and I know i m eligible for a CI, and i will be getting one, if not two (one in each ear) it is now just a matter of when. I do know that if i had this test before with this outcome i don't remember it. Had i remembered it i probably would have gotten the CI sooner, but i also know i was to damn stubborn to want it. Now i know i need it and i will be meeting with the surgeon on May 28Th. well until then remember to be is to do, to do is to be, do be do be do!

The beginnings

Well this will be the start of a long and hopefully pleasing journey for me. On Thursday I will be visiting my Audi (Audiologist) for a CI (Cochlear Implant) evaluation. I hope to be able to implant my deaf ear (the right one) first so i can continue to hear for the duration it takes to heal and activate my implant. As well as train my brain to hear on the right side again. It has been 12 years i believe since i have heard anything out of my right ear. This year could be a historical one in my life.

I titles this the beginnings, since it isn't really day 1 of the journey as the journey began 17 years ago. A small boy about 8 years old, woke up with a fever and spent an unusually long time with a dangerously high fever and ear infection. Once recovered from this, it became increasingly noticeable that he was having difficulty hearing people. The doctors discovered his hearing loss was due to nerve damage, most likely sustained from the high fever and ear infection. Over time as his right ear became increasingly worse, the left ear began to fail as well. At one point the doctor stopped testing my right ear and began writing DNT (Did Not Test) on the charts and did so since it fail every length of hearing a HA (Hearing Aid) could possibly help. My doctor repetitively suggested i get the CI in my right ear. However i refused as the only thing they had available was to impeding on my life at the time. Now 12 years later and with the advancement of technology the world has possibly a water resistant and sweat proof CI. (I hope)

Although the journey truly began 17 years ago, i will finally begin what started years ago. This blog is my daily journal on my experience of receiving a CI and rehabilitation after wards. I will keep everyone who reads this updated with my progress. Although i said it is my daily blog/journal it will only be a daily update once i have received the CI. So until Thursday when i actually have more news to report. Peace, and be glad you can hear with out help!

Anthony
HOH/Deaf since 1991
Soon to be Bionic with the Nucleus Freedom